It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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