It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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