I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
