i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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