I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
