Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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