but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
