I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize