i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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