Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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