Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
