I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
They took my balls.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
