Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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