I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
