Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
