She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
