Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
