And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
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Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
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Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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