piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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