Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
