At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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