How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
