First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
