Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
