And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
