you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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