There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
