so that wasnt chicken after all
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
