This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
