She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
