3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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