lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
