Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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