Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
