I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
