She announced her abortion via fbk
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
