My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
