I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
