We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
