how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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