rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
