Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
