We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
