Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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