She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
