can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
people are starting to question the shark bite story
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
