I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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