So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
