Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just pee around me
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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