I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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