I can tuck mytits in my pants
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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