you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
