What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
