It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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