i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
All I want is dick and wine.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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