You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We left an ass print on the piano.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
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