Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
