Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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