summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
