Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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