no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
