Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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