just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
