please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
