Is it because I queefed?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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