She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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