So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
