Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
